


Wonderwall

by theperfectstorm



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-26
Updated: 2013-03-26
Packaged: 2017-12-06 14:50:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/736904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theperfectstorm/pseuds/theperfectstorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sooo... that's chapter one! i know it kinda moved fast, but you'll understand why i had to get into the good stuff the chapter after the next one! thanks for reading, and feedback makes me happy :)</p>
<p>also, as much as i hate louis or harry het i have to add some in... don't kill me ok :(</p></blockquote>





	Wonderwall

The music pumped out of the speakers and over the mass of sweaty bodies.

It was Harry's first-ever concert, and he'd never been more excited.  Or thirsty.  After two hours of dancing, jumping, screaming, and singing, he'd finally decided that it was time to get a bottle of water from the vendor that he and his friends had seen on their way in.

He weaved his way through the damp crowd of bodies that were singing along to the song that was playing.  He knew his mom would have a heart attack if she ever learned that so many people had been here.  He'd lied to her, saying that it was a small venue.  The venue, in reality, could fit over 2,000 people before the fire marshall would tell everybody to leave.  Truthfully, Harry hadn't thought that he'd even get away with the lie, but his mother hadn't checked up on his claims, and so here he was.

However, despite having to tell his mother a fib, Harry was having the time of his life.  He'd come with the girl that he'd been fawning after for almost two years, along with an assortment of their friend group.  He'd be damned if he left tonight without her on his arm.  Her name was Kaylee.  He trailed off into thoughts of her pretty brown eyes as he continued to make his way through the crowd.

And so, that was how Harry lost track of where he was going, and walked straight into someone carrying drinks.

"Oi, watch it," a gruff voice yelled as the drinks spilled down his front.

"I'm so sorry, I wasn't paying attention," Harry apologized frantically.

The guy looked angry.  He was a big guy, at least two of Harry, and Harry braced himself for the inevitable punch to his jaw that the guy was probably going to throw.

But it never came.  Instead, a sweet sounding, feather light voice made its way into Harry's ears.

"Is there a problem here?"

Before Harry, blocking his shaking frame from the angry man's view, stood a boy.  He had his back to Harry, so Harry took in his backside instead, which, as he thought of it, filled out the blue skinny jeans that he was clad in nicer than Kaylee's ever could have.  He almost slapped himself when he realized that he was checking out a male stranger, but then he remembered the situation at hand.

He snapped his attention to the confrontation that he had caused as the angry man belted out his response.

"Your little faggot friend there spilled my drinks," he spat, glaring at Harry around the mystery boy's back.  "I expect something in return."

Harry tensed up as the only word in the man's statement that mattered made its way through Harry's senses.  Faggot.   But he was straight, he was here for a girl, how was he a faggot?  Maybe the man had caught him checking out the mystery boy's arse.  The mystery boy turned around halfway through the man's statement, deciding that his words weren't important enough for him to face him for.  Harry got a glimpse of short light brown hair and the most beautiful blue eyes he'd ever seen.  The boy's lips were pulled up in a light grin, and Harry saw that the teeth behind them were a glistening white.  This boy was so beautiful, he put any girl to shame. Wait,  _what_?

"Do tell me," said the boy formally, addressing Harry, "have you ever been a bundle of sticks, as far you know?"

Harry pulled his brows together in confusion.

"No," he replied, but it sounded more like a question.  This boy was beautiful, but weird.

The boy turned back to the still-fuming man with the smile on his lips.

"Then I'm sorry, but it can't have been my friend that spilled your drinks.  See, he isn't a faggot, a bundle of sticks.  If you don't mind, I'll replace your drinks and you'll be on your way away from us."

The man looked torn between confusion and anger, but just then, a blonde that wore more makeup than clothing slithered into his side.

"Come on, then, Bruce, they're just kids," she said.  "Let's go back."

Bruce looked over at the blonde, then shrugged and took her arm in his.

"Watch your step next time," he jeered.  He walked away, so Harry and his still-unnamed defender were alone.

With a sigh, the other boy turned around and Harry smiled at him.  The boy was even more beautiful when Harry could see his entire face.  He snapped his jaw shut, which he hadn't noticed had fallen open until the other boy had laughed.

"I'm Louis," said the boy, extending his hand to Harry.

Harry grasped his hand.

"I'm Harry," he replied.  "Thanks for that, I thought he was gonna kill me."

"No problem," said Louis, smiling at Harry.  "Last time I was at a concert here, he beat some kid into unconsciousness, and I figured your girlfriend would lose her head if her handsome boyfriend's face ended up disfigured and nobody helped him."

"Haven't got a girlfriend, but I'm sure my mum would've lost it," said Harry easily.  "Especially considering that I had to lie to her to even come tonight."

"How old are you?" asked Louis.

"14," replied Harry shyly.  Louis looked to be older than him, and he didn't want to scare him off with his young age.

"I'm 16," said Louis, smiling reassuringly at Harry's nervousness.  "Who are you here with, if you haven't got a girlfriend?"

"A few friends from school. And you?"

"The same. They don't like The Script as much as I do, though."

"How could anyone not like The Script?" asked Harry.  The Script was one of his favorite bands.

"I wonder the same," responded Louis, shrugging.  "Sometimes I'm not even sure why I'm friends with them, they're positively hopeless."

Harry smiled.  He was starting to like this Louis boy.

"You need to make some new friends, I guess!" he suggested jokingly.

"Well, I'll start with you then, Curly," said Louis, winking cheekily.  No one had ever called him Curly before.  He was, of course, referring to Harry's hair, which he had just begun to grow out.  The beginnings of the curls that he knew he had were clearly visible to anyone.  At first, he thought that Louis might be teasing him, considering that Louis' hair was perfecly styled, while his own was a wild mane of unruliness, due to all the jumping and dancing around that he'd been doing, but Louis was smiling too widely to be trying to be mean to him, he decided.

"Do you wanna come stand with my friends?" asked Harry, not even fully thinking out the question before it had slipped from between his lips.  What if Louis thought he was a creep?

When Louis gave him an odd look, Harry began stuttering out an explaination, or more accurately, a lie, until Louis rolled his eyes, grabbed Harry's hand, and whispered a "Lead the way" to the younger boy.  Harry nodded happily and did just that, weaving through the bodies as he had done minutes before, but with the warm addition of Louis' hand in his.  Definitely a welcome addition.

When they reached Harry's friends, Louis melted into the group effortlessly, much to Harry's relief.  Harry supposed that that was how Louis was.  He could be friends with anybody, and fit in with any group of people.  Harry almost wished that he were the same way, but he was far too quiet and antisocial to ever have a hope of being outgoing like Louis.  And, oddly enough, Harry was perfectly fine with that.

"What are you thinking about over here, you space cadet?" asked Louis, slinging his arm around Harry's shoulders, an action that Harry would have been uncomfortable with, had it been coming from anyone else.  With Louis, he somehow just knew that he could trust him.

"Nothing," said Harry quickly.  He changed the topic.  "You're getting along with my friends pretty well."

"They're not hard to get along with," said Louis.  "And that Kaylee girl is absolutely adorable."

Harry started at the mention of his crush's name.  He hadn't had a single thought of the girl since he'd been checking out Louis' bum... But that didn't mean anything.  He was just getting to know Louis, that's all.  He was still quite smitten with Kaylee.  And definitely still straight.

"Oh," said Louis, smirking at Harry.  "I get it, Romeo."

"Shut up," said Harry, shoving Louis slightly and rolling his eyes.

"Why don't you just ask her out?" asked Louis.

"Because I'm shy," admitted Harry.

"I would never have noticed if you hadn't said something," said Louis seriously.  Then his tone got high pitched and excited as a new song began playing from the stage.  "This is my favorite song!"

Harry laughed slightly as Louis excitedly tugged him toward the stage and sung along with the song.  Harry recognized it, of course.  He hummed to himself as he listened to Louis' voice sing the lyrics of I'm Yours.

 

" _I may not have the softest touch_  
 _I may not say the words as such_  
 _And though I may not look like much_  
 _I'm yours_  
 _And though my edges may be rough_  
 _I never feel I'm quite enough_  
 _It may not seem like very much_  
 _But I'm yours_ "

At that precise moment, however, Kaylee appeared at Harry's side and grabbed his arm excitedly, something that she'd never done before.

"Harry!" she said excitedly, "Come stand by me, I want to hear you sing!"

Harry's eyebrows pulled together.  Since when had Kaylee known that he could sing?

"I can't just leave Louis," he said lamely.  "Why don't you stand here with us?"

"Okay!" she said, misunderstanding what Harry said as she squeezed underneath Louis' arm and between the boys.  This didn't go unnoticed by Louis, who looked slightly put-off, but continued to sing regardless.  He lifted his arm from her shoulders and instead held his arms in the air, waving them with the rest of the crowd.

Harry did the same, as Kaylee continued to excitedly giggle nonsense to him.  He decided that he would never understand females.

The rest of the concert was spent with Harry trying to talk with Louis around Kaylee, a task that proved to be extremely difficult.  For whatever reason, Kaylee was fighting to be the center of Harry's focus.

"Are you sure you aren't dating?" Louis whispered in Harry's ear as the final notes of the concert rang out and around them erupted into applause and cheers.

"I'm positive," said Harry.  "I'm not sure what's gotten into her tonight."

Louis smiled knowingly, but wouldn't tell Harry what he was thinking.  He simply grabbed a Sharpie from one of his friends, pulling Harry's hand toward him and writing something on it.

"This is my number," he explained.  "Don't want to lose touch with the only friend I've got that appreciates The Script, do I?  Call me sometime, promise?"

Louis looked so hopeful as he capped the pen that Harry couldn't have said no, even if he didn't have plans to ever call the boy.  That, however, wasn't the case.  He and Louis clicked in a way that he'd never experienced before, and there was no way that he'd give that up.  He could see Louis and himself becoming close friends.

"Then I'll talk to you later, Curly," said Louis happily.  "In the meantime, try not to get in fights with any gigantic strangers.  Got it?"

Harry nodded happily, reaching his arms out and hugging Louis, who returned the hug with a chuckle.

"See you, Harry," he breathed in the younger boy's ear as he pulled away, waved, and made his way back to his own friends.

If only Harry knew how drastically his life would change within weeks, when he picked up the phone a few nights later to call the number that was still visible on the palm of his hand.  Maybe he would've called Louis sooner, if he had known.

* * *

 

The next months were a rush of smiles and happiness.  The boys spent every moment that they could together.  Neither of the two were old enough to have their licences, but their parents were understanding of the situation.  Both of the boys told white lies in order to make their parents think that the other boy was a friend from nursery school, but in the end, both sets of parents allowed the boys to meet up in the middle or at each other's houses.  Their parents met as well, and their mums became attached at the hip.  Louis even heard his mum talk about moving closer to Cheshire; they lived in Doncaster, which was nearly two hours away.  He encouraged the idea.  For now, however, they were as content with their long-distance friendship as they could be.

And so, on a sunny September afternoon, five months after the boys had first met, it wasn't unusual that the boys could be found causing mischief in London.

"I dare you to jump in that fountain, and then hug a complete stranger," said Louis suddenly, grabbing Harry's arm to bring him to a stop.

Harry looked at the fountain in question, wondering how cold the water was.  It was a given that he would do it; he did anything that Louis asked him to do, even if it caused him discomfort or embarrassment.  He didn't even stop to contemplate whether or not he would, or to feign uncertainty, anymore.

"Only if you jump in with me," said Harry.  "If that water's as cold as it looks, you're getting hypothermia with me."

Louis rolled his eyes.  "I swear, you are such a baby.  Fine, let's go."

They linked arms, running to the fountain and hoping in, splashing water everywhere before sitting down so that the water was at their necks.  Harry dipped his head back, wetting his hair as well.  The water was cold, but not unbearably so.  He splashed water at Louis' face, who pretended to be offended before retaliating by dunking Harry's head all the way under the water.

"C'mon, then," said Louis grumpily.  "You've got half of a dare left to do."

 Harry got out of the fountain.  There were people staring at them, but neither of them cared.  He walked up to a woman that was walking by, and held out his arms, smiling sweetly.  She gingerly took him into her arms, trying not to get soaked by him.  When the hug was done, he walked back to Louis, who was getting out of the fountain with a smile on his face.

"I could ask you to do anything and you'd do it, wouldn't you?" he asked, grabbing Harry's hand.  They were close enough that they constantly held hands and cuddled.  Harry joked that Louis was his replacement for a girlfriend.  Louis would retaliate by saying that he'd be there until Harry found the perfect girl.

"I like seeing you smile," said Harry lamely.  Louis rolled his eyes.

"You're an idiot, did you know that?"

"I'm  _your_  idiot."

Harry batted his eyelashes at the boy beside him, who laughed and squeezed Harry's hand, pulling him along behind him.

They'd been to London enough times in the past months that they'd picked out their favorite spots to hang out and talk.  They caught each other up on their lives and talked about everything.  Their favorite place was a park that was deserted most of the time.

Louis laid down on the grass, pulling Harry down with him.  They joked around for a few minutes, laughing and watching the clouds above their heads.  Then Louis turned to Harry with a serious look on his face.

"How are things going with Kaylee?" he asked.

"What things?" asked Harry seriously.  "We aren't together."

"But you said she'd been dropping hints that she wanted to date you."

"That doesn't mean I want to date her."

Louis pulled his eyebrows together.  "You've liked this girl since before you met me, how can you not want to be with her?"

Harry shrugged.  "Things change."

"I don't think you've changed," said Louis.

"I have, though.  You've changed me more than you think."

"How do you mean?"

"Remember at the concert, when Kaylee was being annoying and clingly?  She only did that because she was so used to be the center of my attention.  She was jealous that I was paying attention to someone that wasn't her.  I don't think she actually likes me, she just likes the attention."

Harry had spoken with Kaylee's best friend weeks before, and had learned more about Kaylee than he'd wanted to know.  It had hurt, but he'd gotten over it.  Mostly thanks to Louis.  Louis was silent for a moment.

"I thought she'd been acting a bit like a possessive girlfriend, to be honest," said Louis, runing his fingers through his hair.  "I mean, the way that she was hanging off of you and not letting anybody else touch you, she seemed jealous."

"She was--of someone else getting attention."

"So I made you... not want her anymore?"

Harry shook his head.

"You made me realize that I don't want to be with someone like her.  I deserve someone who wants  _me_ , not just attention."

Louis looked over at him.  "You're weird."

Harry laughed.  "So you've told me."

Louis smiled and laid his head back on his hands.  Harry did the same and the pair laid in silence, both content to just be in the other's presense for the time that they could be.  Harry had never felt such a comfortable silence before.

"Do you ever think you want something more?" Louis asked suddenly.

Harry turned his head toward him.  "What do you mean?"

Louis thought for a moment before turning his head to meet Harry's gaze.  "Like... Do you ever wonder what it would be like to be rich and famous?  It'd be so easy to meet the one you're meant for if they already knew your name."

"I guess," said Harry.  "But that would be boring.  Besides, when you're famous, every single one of your fans think they're you're their soul mate.  How could you sort through the ones that were wrong for you?"

"I think when you meet the one, you just know."

"How do you know?" asked Harry.

"You just know," said Louis seriously.  "I mean, I did."

"Wait, you've met the one?"

"I'm not sure," said Louis.  "But it's definitely _something_.  I don't really want to talk about it."

Harry didn't press the subject any further.  Louis would tell him when he was ready.

They laid in silence once again, both consumed in their thoughts.

Harry was running over his mental list of every girl that Louis had ever mentioned to him, trying to figure out which girl Louis thought was the one.  He knew that Louis's best friend was named Hannah, and the pair were extremely close.  Not as close as Harry was to Louis, but still.

If he could've heard the thoughts running through Louis' mind at that preciese moment, however, he wouldn't have give it another moment of thought.

After a long time of laying in silence, Louis stood up and held out his hand to help Harry to his feet.

"It's time to meet our mums for dinner," he explained, taking Harry's hand as they left the park.

They met their mothers outside of the restraunt they'd agreed on about ten minutes later.  They both had armfuls of bags from their shopping, so the boys took some of the bags, trying to be helpful.

Their mothers asked them about their day when they'd been seated at a table.

"Am I going to have any officers calling me this time?" asked Jay, Louis's mum.  She was only half-kidding.

"Not this time," said Louis.  "But Anne may have a confused woman calling and asking why her sopping-wet son hugged her."

Anne, Harry's mum, rolled her eyes but smiled fondly.

"If she does, I'll just blame it all on you," said Harry, smirking.

"You're the one that agreed to do it!"

"But it was a dare.  No honorable man can turn down a dare and keep his image intact."

"What image?  'That one curly-haired kid'?"

Anne snickered.  "I love his hair," she said, running a hand through her son's curls.  He pulled a face and kicked Louis under the table.

"Better than being 'that guy that wears dresses'," he retaliated.

"You promised you'd never bring that up again!" exclaimed Louis as his mother eyed him warily.

The rest of the dinner passed with the four joking around and eating, enjoying being around each other.  Toward the end of the meal, Louis got a sad sort of look in his eye, which went unnoticed by the mothers, but not by Harry.  He met Louis' eyes and jerked his head toward the bathroom.  Louis nodded and the pair stood up.

"We're running to the loo, be right back!" said Harry as they walked away.

Once the restroom door was closed behind them, Harry turned to Louis.

"What's up?" he asked.

"I don't want to go home yet," said Louis.  He bit his lip.  Usually Harry was the one that had troubles saying good-bye after they'd spent the day together.  It was unusual for Louis to voice hhow much he didn't want to leave.

"Me either," said Harry, pulling Louis into a hug.  "But we'll see each other next weekend, yeah?  And you'll call me as soon as you're home.  It sucks, but at least we get to see each other."

Louis shrugged.  "I just wish I could see you more."

"I know," said Harry softly.  "Just keep trying to talk your mum into moving to Cheshire.  That's the best we can do for now.  In a few months, you'll get your license, and we can see each other even more!"

Louis smiled at the thought.  In a few months, he could see Harry every day.  With that thought in mind, they decided they needed to get back out to their mothers.

"See you next weekend," said Harry, pulling Louis into his arms once again.  He felt Louis nod and pulled back to smile at him before he followed his mum out of the restaurant and to their car.

"Did you have fun?" Anne asked.

"Of course I did," said Harry.  "It's  _Lou_ , mum."

She smiled and backed out of her parking space.

"You two are close," she said.

"Yes," agreed Harry slowly.

His mother was silent as she turned on the radio and began the drive home.  Harry pulled out his iPod and put his headphones in, powering it on and pressing play.

The rest of the ride passed in near silence.  Harry was too excited to wait by the phone for Louis' phone call.  So when they did pull into their driveway, Harry was halfway to the door before his mum had even turned off the car.  She smiled fondly to herself.  She'd never seen Harry so happy.  She was glad that Louis and Harry had found each other.  She walked into the house and made her way over to her husband, her children's step-father, and cuddled up to him contentedly.  She was happy as long as Harry was happy.

Harry had only been waiting for about twenty minutes when Louis called.  He answered immediately, excited to talk to his best friend.

The two talked about absolutely nothing, and just about everything, until both of them had fallen asleep on the phone together.

* * *

 

The following week passed tortorously slow for Louis Tomlinson.  The time between seeing his best friend always passed slowly, but this time it was different.  The worst part was that he knew exactly what was different, but he couldn't do anything about it yet.

He was absorbed in his thoughts most of the time, something that his best friend, Hannah, noticed after about two seconds.  Louis was never one to keep secrets, not from her at least.  After she decided that she'd given him enough time to mope, she cornered him outside of the cafeteria on Thursday morning, determined to know what was wrong with him.  He knew exactly what she wanted the moment that he saw her blocking his exit.

He held his resolve to not tell her anything, until she actually asked the question.

Louis gave in, crying on Hannah's shoulder as she stroked his hair and whispered soothing words into his ear.  She'd never seen him cry in public before, so she knew that something big was on his mind.

"Please, Lou," she said as his sobs subsided, pushing him off her shoulder and looking into his eyes.  "Tell me what's going on."

"I think I'm in love," he said, sniffling.

"With who?" she asked excitedly.  Louis hadn't had a girlfriend in months, which was out-of-character for him.  She realized that the mystery girl was probably the reason he'd been single for so long.  She thought that it was sweet, in a way.  Louis had never been nervous with talking to girls, so the fact that he hadn't already asked her out meant that this girl had to be somone special.

"I don't know if I should tell you," he said.  He looked down at his shoes, and something clicked in Hannah's brain.  That was what  _Harry_  did whenever he was unsure of how the person he was talking to would react to what he was saying.  She, of course, only knew this because Louis had told her.

"It isn't a girl, is it?" she asked slowly.  She'd had a nagging suspicion that Louis wasn't completely straight for years, but he'd only ever dated girls, so she hadn't been able to prove it.

He shook his head, still not making eye contact with her.

She sighed.

"I can't say I didn't see this coming," she said.  "Lou, whoever you love, I still love you.  We all will; Harry, Stan, your parents, your sisters... This won't change anything."

"But it will," argued Louis.  "It'll change everything.  He doesn't love me back, I can't possibly be good enough for him."

"Harry loves you," she said.  Louis' eyes widened as he absorbed what she said.  "And honestly, I don't think his feelings are completely platonic either, from everything you've told me.  You're an amazing guy, Louis, you're funny and smart, and you're an all-around good person.  Anybody would be lucky to have you."

"How did you know...?" he started, but Hannah rolled her eyes.

"Louis, you're more obvious than a 10-year-old girl with her first crush."

"Am I really?" he asked thoughtfully.

Hannah laughed and slung an arm over his shoulders.

"Yes, you are," she said.

The two talked about Harry for the rest of the day, which wasn't unusual, but they talked about Louis' options in regards to Harry as well, which was unusual.  He was much more cheerful as he made his way home.  His conversations with Hannah, along with the fact that tomorrow he would see Harry, put a spring in his step, and he hummed to himself.

He unlocked the front door and walked into the house, finding it empty, as usual.  His sisters got off school later than he did, and his mother always picked them up from school.  His father hadn't really been in his life in years, which, as far as he was concerned, was a good thing.  That left him an empty house and time to ponder his options.

He threw his bag onto the couch and made his way up the stairs to his bedroom.

He laid down in his bed, trying to calm the onslaught of thoughts in his mind.  He picked the thought that occurred the most, which, unsurprisingly, was  _Harry_.

Just knowing that someone like Harry existed was almost overwhelming.  Knowing that someone who Louis could pour his heart out to, could talk to about anything, could spend every moment around and still miss him when it was time to go, scared Louis.  He'd thought he'd been in love before, with his ex-girlfriends, but that was before he'd met the curly-haired boy.  Now he could see that what he'd felt for the girls was absolutely not true love.  He wanted to scream that he loved Harry from the rooftops.

But wasn't he too young for true love?  Everywhere he looked, love was never true when it was between teenagers.  Maybe this was just a stupid crush.  Maybe that was exactly what Harry would tell him.  No, he couldn't let himself start thinking that way.  If he let himself start, he'd never stop.  No matter what the truth behind his feelings was, he wanted Harry.

Now, he just had to figure out a way to get the younger boy to want him.  Louis had never been very confident, but with girls it was so much easier--no, with anybody that wasn't Harry it was so much easier.  He wouldn't have had a problem moving on to another person if he'd been turned down by any of his exes, but, as with everything else, with Harry it was different.

All that Louis knew was that he was crazy about Harry Styles, and he couldn't bear to just be his friend anymore.  He had to do whatever it took to get him.

He'd even get a sex change if that would make Harry want him.

Louis laughed at the odd turn his thoughts had taken, trying to imagine himself in high heels with boobs.  The picture wasn't very pretty.

No, he had to be more _normal_ about this.

In a moment of sudden inspiration, Louis decided that asking his mother would probably be his best bet.  He figured it would be best if he came out to her before he made any move on Harry.  Besides, she always knew what to do, no matter the situation.

Louis sat up and grabbed his iPod, making sure to only put one headphone in so that he could hear when his mother got home.  He scrolled through his music, laying back and closing his eyes when he found the perfect song.

For once, Louis was happy to hear the screaming and giggling that signalled the arrival of his mother and sisters.  He hopped up off his bed and ran down the stairs, almost falling down them in his haist.

"Louis!" came the usual squeal of four girls as they all jumped on him at the same time.  He laughed, supporting them all as best as he could.  He smiled down at all of them, tangled up in his limbs.  Then he remembered why he'd come downstairs in the first place, and began peeling his sisters off of him to get to his mother.

They all ran off to cause trouble in a different part of the house, and Louis made his way to his mother's room, where he could hear he bustling around.

"Mum?" he said, standing in the doorway.  She was taking her earrings out, but turned around to meet her only son's gaze.  "I need to talk to you."

She sighed, setting her earrings down.

"I had a feeling this was coming," she said.  "Is it about why you've been so antisocial all week?"

His mother knew him too well.  "Yeah," he said.

"Well, come here," she said, sitting on the edge of her bed and holding out her arm for Louis.  He sat beside her, cuddling up into his mother's neck.

"Tell me what's wrong," she cooed.

He sighed.  He had no idea where to start.  His thoughts were in a whirlwind, and he could't catch one that would make a good beginning to all the things that he wanted to tell her.

Without really thinking, he blurted out, "Mum, I like boys."

Louis hadn't really allowed himself to consider how she would react to his coming out, knowing that he would assume the worst, but if he had, he definitely wouldn't have predicted what she did next.

She started laughing.

When her laughs subsided, she pulled away from him, tilting his head up to look into his eyes.

"Lou," she said slowly, still giggling, "I could've told you that."

He pulled his eyebrows together, looking into his mother's eyes.

"You aren't mad?  You don't hate me?"

"Not even a little," she said, shaking her head and smiling.  "I've loved you with all my heart, ever since the day you were born.  That won't change just because you tell me you like the same sex.  Nothing can make a mother truly stop loving her child.  Besides, you're practically the stereotypical gay man.  I'm not stupid, sweetheart.  I've known since you were eight."

"Hey," he said, pouting.  "I'm not a stereotypical gay man.  I think I still like girls, I just like boys too."

"So you think you're bisexual?  I can handle that.  Just keep me up to date on what gender you prefer, yeah?"

He laughed.  "Sure thing, mum," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Now," she said, raising her eyebrows suspiciously, "tell me what brought this on.  Why did you decide to tell me this?"

"I couldn't really keep it to myself anymore.  It was hurting me.  And also," he paused, considering his next words, "I like Harry.  A lot.  And I wanted your advice on how to go about the whole situation."

She sat in silence for a moment, a finger on her lips, as she pondered.  Louis gave her a moment to think, knowing that this was an unusual situation for her to be in; her only son coming out and asking for tips on asking a guy out in a span of five minutes.

"Do you know if he's gay?" she finally asked.

Louis shook his head sadly.  "No, I guess I've just assumed he's straight.  I never really asked."

"Well, coming from someone that's seen you two together more than almost anyone else, I'm not sure his feelings are completely platonic.  But darling, he may not realize it.  Harry's young, and he isn't as fearless and confident as you are.  This advice is going to sound pretty bad, but I think you need to follow your heart on this one.  You know Harry the best; only you know how to tell him all this in a somewhat delicate way.  So the next time you see Harry, go with what you feel you should do.  Don't fight your instincts.  They'll do more good than sitting around planning the whole thing."

Louis, nodded his head, pondering her words.  What she was saying made sense.  He knew Harry best, and he hadn't sat around planning to fall for him, so why should he plan how he would tell Harry?  His gut had gotten him this far, what with giving Harry his phone number on a whim at the concert.  If they were meant to be, it would just _happen_.  He wasn't against helping fate along, however.

"Can I tell you a secret now?" asked his mother, pulling him out of his thoughts.  He nodded.  "Anne's told me more than once how happy Harry is now that you're in his life.  She says she's seen a huge change in him.  He goes out with his friends, he leaves his room more, and he's started singing again.  She said he wasn't depressed before, it's more tht now he's found some self-esteem, something he didn't have before you walked into his life."

Louis couldn't stop grinning.  He was sure he looked slightly mad, but he didn't care.  He made Harry happy.  Of course, he already knew this, but hearing it from his mother, who heard it from Harry's mother, was a validation.  He felt much more confident about the talk he'd be having with Harry.

Almost as if he knew he was being talked about, Louis' thigh began to vibrate as Harry called him.  Louis looked to Jay, said a quick, "We'll finish this talk later," and answered his phone, not fighting the smile that was spreading across his face.

He had only known Harry for a bit under six months, and Louis somehow already just _knew_ that he could follow his heart for the rest of his life, and it would lead him to the exact same place: Harry Styles.

* * *

 

Louis had never felt so nervous in his life.

He wasn't even entirely sure how he'd gotten through the school day without Hannah or Stan murdering him.  He'd been restless; fidgeting through his classes, staring at the clock, and tapping his foot and pencil impatiently.  Of course, Hannah understood why he was so jumpy, but as Louis hadn't told Stan his secret yet, his other best friend just thought Louis was excited that it was Friday.  He'd shot Louis irritated looks more than once, and told him to calm down almost every five minutes.  But Louis couldn't calm down.

Today was the day that he was going to see Harry.

And though he promised himself that he wouldn't spend the whole day planning, that was exactly what he did.

So when the final bell rang, signalling the beginning to a weekend of Harry, Louis was the first out the door.  He waved a good-bye to Hannah and Stan before sprinting out the door.

He continued sprinting until his lungs started to hurt, and even then, he still kept a brisk pace to his walk.  Louis had never been a patient person, but today he was especially anxious to get home.  He was spending the entire weekend at Harry's house, and in all the excitement of his week, he hadn't packed a bag yet.

Unlocking the front door, Louis rushed into the house, kicking his shoes off and throwing his bag on the floor, not considering how furious his mother would be at the disorginization he always seemed to leave in his wake.

Louis rushed up to his room, pulling out his suitcase and starting to put clothes and other essentials into it.  He put more thought and care into his outfits than he usually did, not knowing when exactly this weekend he'd be confessing his feelings to Harry.

In almost no time, his bag was packed, and he heard his mother and sisters arriving home.  He rushed down the stairs and into the hoard of excited girls, being attacked at once.  With a girl on each limb, he asked his mother if she was ready to go.  

"Yes.  Lottie, watch your sisters.  I'll be back in a few hours."

She opened the door, walking out to start the car.  He pried the girls off of him, hugging and kissing them and saying his good-byes and I love you's.

His nerves were almost suffocating him as he slid into the passenger seat and buckled his seatbelt.  He consciously stopped himself from tapping his foot.

Louis usually slept on the way to Harry's house, but this time, sleep was out of the question.  Instead, he powered on his iPod and searched for a song to describe his feelings.  He smiled inwardly when he found Look After You by The Fray.  It had become his 'Harry song' in the past few weeks; Harry was always on his mind, but thoughts of the boy took over every part of Louis when he listened to the song.

He leant his head against the window, immersing himself in the lyrics of the song and trying not to think.

Whenever one wants time to speed up, time seems to slow down, and vise-versa.  The car ride to Harry's trip was no exception.  No matter how hard Louis tried to not look at the clock, his eyes kept drifting to it.  He swore that time seemed to take twice as long to pass, if not longer.  It seemed like it had been days instead of hours when they finally pulled into Harry's driveway.

Jay put a hand on his shoulder when he turned to get out of the car.

"Good luck," she said, smiling.  She released his shoulder and unbuckled her seatbelt, exiting the car.  Louis was already at the door, waiting impatiently for her.

He didn't knock or ring the doorbell, but the door banged open, and a mess of curls suddenly flew around Louis' face.  Louis wrapped his arms around Harry's shoulders, inhaling the sweet smell of his shampoo and feeling a knot form in his throat.

When Harry finally pulled back from the hug, he had a huge smile on his face, showing off the dimples that Louis loved so much.  Louis wore a matching grin, sans the dimples.

"Hey," said Harry, breaking the silence.

"Hi," said Louis.

Harry moved aside to let Louis walk into the house first, to find their mothers sitting at the kitchen table.  They ignored them, walking up to Harry's room and sitting on his bed to talk.  They'd fallen into a sort of pattern in the past few months.  On Friday, they'd either watch movies, talk, or sometimes spend time with friends.  Saturday was their day.  They'd go on "man dates" and just enjoy being around each other for the day.  Then on Sunday, they'd go to London and spend the day there.  They'd never discussed it; they'd just fallen into the pattern.

That was what Louis liked the most about Harry; sure, the boy was beautiful, smart, kind, and funny, but what Louis liked best about Harry was how easy it was to be around him.   It was almost like they'd known each other their whole lives, instead of just for a few months.

The knot in Louis' stomach hadn't gone away, but he was ignoring it as best as he could as he and Harry talked.

He couldn't help but be mesmorized by everything about Harry.  From the way his lips moved when he spoke, to the way his eyes got wide and serious when he was explaining something, to how he looked at his hands and played with his fingers when he was nervous, Louis noiced everything.  If Harry noticed how intently Louis was staring at him, or how unnaturally quiet he was being, he didn't say anything.  For this, Louis was grateful.

After about an hour, Jay popped her head into Harry's room.

"I'm taking off now, Lou," she said.  "Behave yourself and keep your phone on."

"Love you too mum," replied Louis, rolling his eyes but smiling all the same.  She smiled as well.

"Love you boo, see you Sunday."

And with that, she closed the door and the weekend of Harry could officially start.

"So, what do you wanna do tonight?" asked Harry, turning to Louis.

Louis pondered the question for less than a minute before coming up with the perfect idea.

"Let's go bowling!" he said excitedly.

"Just us, or do you want to invite a few people?"

With other people there, Louis would be less likely to pull any stunts he'd regret later.  There was definitely no question.

"Invite a few people, I'll get sick of you if it's just us," said Louis, winking.

"I'm wounded," said Harry dramatically.  "Let it be known that on this day, the 12th of September, 2008, Louis William Tomlinson broke my heart without any remorse whatsoever!  How will I ever move on from this pain?"

"Oh, shut up.  You suck at acting."

"And even more insults pour from the boy's mouth!  Will the torment upon his best friend ever stop?"

Louis started laughing and tackled Harry, pinning his arms at his sides and trying to look as serious as possible.

"There's only room for one drama queen in this relationship, Styles, and I've already claimed the role."

It seemed like Harry hadn't even heard him.  He was staring up into Louis' eyes, his mouth slightly parted and eyes as wide as saucers.  He looked like a frightened kitten.  Louis knotted his eyebrows together.

"What?" he asked.

And with that one word, Harry broke out of his daze.  He cleared his throat awkwardly.

"Nothing," he mumbled.  "Just spaced out."

For the first time since the boys had met, there was an awkward silence between them.  Neither had the slightest idea of what the other was thinking, but if they had, they'd realize that they were thinking almost the exact same thoughts.

Harry broke the silence after a few minutes, leaving the room to go call his friends and invite them to go bowling.  Louis, not wanting to sit around alone in Harry's room, made his way downstairs and to the kitchen, where Anne and Gemma were both sat at the table.  They greeted him with smiles and Anne hurrying to make him a cup of tea.

"How are you?" asked Gemma.

"I'm fantastic," replied Louis, lying through his teeth.  He was still reeling from his first ever awkward silence with Harry, but how could he explain that to Harry's older sister?  It would bring up more questions than it would answer.

"That's great," said Gemma, smiling widely.  "Your mum was telling us the strangest story about something you told her.  I don't think I've ever laughed that hard."

Louis stiffened.  She'd told Harry's _family_?

"What story?" he asked.

"You were eight, and you told her that one day, you were going to meet a boy with funny hair.  I thought it was funny, since now you're friends with Harry."

Louis let out the breath that he hadn't realized he was holding.

"I remember that," he said.  "I'd had the strangest dream, and some part of me just _knew_ that it was going to happen one day.  Guess I was a child psychic!"

Gemma laughed.  "You two were meant to be!"  She batted her eyelashes, puckering her lips mockingly.

Louis forced a laugh.  If only she knew...

Anne popped up at Louis' side at the exact moment, much to Louis' relief, with a steaming mug of tea.  He gingerly sipped his tea and made light conversation with the women seated at the table for the better part of a half hour until Harry finally made his appearance in the kitchen.

"Lou, they'll be here in a few minutes to get us," said Harry.

"Where are you two off to?" asked Anne.

"Bowling," said Harry, not sounding enthusiastic at all anymore.  Louis was offended.

"Harry, I forgot to show you what I got yesterday," said Louis.  "Come up to your room with me."

Even though Harry knew exactly what Louis was doing, he didn't attempt to stop him.  He followed the older boy up the stairs and into his bedroom, remaining still as Louis closed the door.

Louis turned to Harry, opening his mouth to speak, but Harry cut him off before he could even start.

"I don't want to talk about it.  Let's just pretend nothing happened."

Louis tried to mask his disappointment at the suggestion, knowing that Harry didn't mean anything by it.  Harry wasn't the type to share his feelings willingly until they were eating away at him.  He'd keep it all in and bottled up until he'd explode suddenly.  Louis wished that Harry would tell him before then, but he didn't want to change Harry.  He was perfect the way he was, even with all of his imperfections.

"Yeah," agreed Louis, "alright."

Harry smiled and pulled his best friend into his arms in a hug that knocked the wind out of both of them.  Louis didn't hug Harry as exuberantely as he would have under normal circumstances, but Harry didn't mind.  He was just happy that the awkward atmosphere was gone.

They left the room holding hands, and made their way downstairs to sit on the couch and wait for Harry's friends to come and get them.  They joked around as if nothing had happened, and before they knew it, they could hear a horn honking from Harry's driveway.

They both rushed outside and piled into the backseat of the car.  Louis didn't fail to notice Harry's mood change.  He looked excited to be going bowling, after he had told his mother about it in such a disinterested way.  Louis let himself think that it was because all was right in their little world, though he knew it wasn't.  It wouldn't be peaceful in their world until he'd told Harry the truth.  But for tonight, he would keep it to himself.  There was no need to ruin the lighthearted mood in the car with his thoughts and feelings towards Harry.

* * *

 

That night and the next day passed in a blur; Louis could've sworn that it wasn't Saturday night yet, but here he and Harry were, getting into bed.  They'd shared a bed from their first sleepover, and usually the night would consist of cuddles between the two.  Louis didn't think Harry knew just how hard his heart would pound every time Harry wrapped his arm around him.

Both of the boys had a restless night of tossing and turning.  Louis was mentally beating himself up for not telling Harry his feelings yet.  He'd had over 24 hours, and a majority of it they'd been alone; yet he still hadn't done it.  He'd never felt so nervous about admitting his feelings to somebody before; it was an entirely new concept to him.  He wasn't sure when he'd started feeling more than friendly feelings toward Harry, but he had a nagging suspicion that it had been the night they'd met.  That thought terrified him.  He'd never held his feelings in for that long before.  He'd once heard that if a crush lasts longer than four months, then it's considered love, and he'd been pining after Harry for six months.  No, terrified was an understatement for how the boy felt.  Slowly, slowly, Louis drifted off to sleep in the early hours of the morning.

Beside him, Harry was also wide awake.  He wasn't exactly sure why he couldn't sleep, but he had a feeling that it had something to do with the blue eyed boy laying beside him.  This just confused him further; he'd slept beside Louis multiple times, why was tonight any different?

He could hide the truth from the rest of the world, but he couldn't hide it from himself.  Tonight was different.  He'd spent all day looking at Louis through new, and yet completely familiar, eyes.  He knew that he was different, but Louis had changed too.  He was more hesitant to touch Harry, and that frustrated him.  Harry had been craving any form of touch from Louis all day, and his weak attempts to act normal hadn't satiated him.

The morning came slowly through the still-awake boy's curtains.  With the rising of the sun, he decided to stop pretending to sleep and take a walk instead.  He knew that the sun wouldn't help him sleep.  Scribbling out a quick note to Louis (though the boy probably wouldn't stir until noon), Harry put on his shoes and headed out the door.

There was a light fog in the early morning air, adding a slight chill to the otherwise warm air.  Harry hadn't bothered to grab his coat on the way out, and he began to regret it as he walked further and further from his house.

He supposed that he lived in quite a nice neighborhood.  He felt no fear wandering the streets at such an early hour, though he attributed it to his lack of any emotion that he'd been expiriencing since he and Louis had lain down to sleep the night before.  The houses got bigger as he continued walking.  He realized that he had forgotten his iPod back at the house, but didn't mourn the device as much as he would have at any other time.  He wasn't sure if there were any songs on it that could explain how he felt at that moment.

He made it to the park near his house without getting hypothermia, and he sat down on one of the swings.  Curling a hand around the chain, he slowly moved the swing back and forth, dragging his toes into the ground as he did so.  His mind was completely blank; he didn't know what to think anymore.

He was supposed to be _straight_.

He didn't notice his eyes fill with tears until one landed on his pajama pants.  As soon as he realized he was crying, he started full-out, unabashedly sobbing.  He didn't care who heard him; his thoughts were far from caring about anything of the sort.

_Louis_.  That was all that he could concentrate on.  He wasn't sure why his best friend's name reduced him to tears, but nevertheless, a new waves of sobs broke from behind his lips with each time he thought his name.

What was wrong with him?

He could actually feel a pain in his chest, almost as though his heart was literally breaking.  He knew that it was still working perfectly fine, he could hear it pounding in his ears, but if it hadn't been for that, he might actually have thought his heart had stopped beating.

He wrapped his arms around his stomach, resting his forehead against his knees and continuing to sob.  He stayed in that position until he felt warm arms wrap around him from somewhere in front of him.  They were accompanied by warm hands that cupped Harry's chin and gently forced him to look up.

Wet green eyes met the sparkling blue, and that was that.

Louis kissed the crying boy in front of him.

The moment that their lips met, Harry felt a strange sensation replace the painful one in his chest.  It felt like his heart was warming up with every second that their lips remained pressed together.  The tears continued to roll down Harry's face, but for an entirely different reason.  He'd never felt as happy as he did in that moment, with his lips against Louis Tomlinson's.

When Louis finally pulled away, he smiled at Harry.  Despite his tear-streaked face and puffy, red eyes, he still looked beautiful.

"Why were you crying?" he finally asked.

"I wasn't sure," admitted Harry, "that is, until you kissed me.  Now I know why."

Louis sat back on his heels.  "So tell me."

"I like you, and I think I've liked you since we met.  Maybe even before then, if that makes any sense."

This was backwards, Louis realized.  He was supposed to be confessing his feelings to Harry.  He was supposed to be the brave one.  But seeing the small light in Harry's eyes cleared all thoughts from his mind.  They could be brave together.

"It does," said Louis.  "I feel the same.  I've been fighting it all weekend, and seeing you cry... I just had to do something."

"I'm glad you did.  You helped me figure out why I couldn't sleep last night."

"I knew you were still up.  I was, too.  I was half awake when you left, so I followed you."

"Didn't know that love made people into stalkers," said Harry, his grin displaying one of his dimples.  Louis swatted his arm playfully.

"Anyways, as I was saying," said Louis.  "I came here to ask you something."

Louis stood up, and Harry followed suit.  Louis took the younger boy's hands in his own, and the green eyes met the blue as Louis asked the question that both had been waiting six months for.

"Will you be my boyfriend?"

"Yes," said Harry, pulling Louis in for another kiss.

Louis loved everything about Harry.  He loved his dimples, his extra nipples, how long his legs were, his voice, everything... But in that moment, Louis decided that his new favorite thing about Harry by far was kissing him.

**Author's Note:**

> sooo... that's chapter one! i know it kinda moved fast, but you'll understand why i had to get into the good stuff the chapter after the next one! thanks for reading, and feedback makes me happy :)
> 
> also, as much as i hate louis or harry het i have to add some in... don't kill me ok :(


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